Thursday, May 27, 2010

Old Man Loafers

Although not "sugar and spice and everything nice", am hoping mySamuelson's tacky taste in dressing is a straight shot from his father's genes.
The alternative isn't even considerable!
Although I must admit to wearing pj's everywhere when pregnant with said child.
From the couch...
to the supermarket.
Yes, sadly, am serious.
Any "fashionista" I had in me "pre" children I left on the birthing table along with my placenta gobbledy-gook.

About 2 months ago, as we were walking into my Doctor's lab to give blood for my upcoming physical, I really looked at mySamuelson.
You've got to put your "imagination caps" on for this one folks:
T-shirt seen better days with a host of fresh, new stains to add to those that had defied repeated "Resolve Spot Remover" attempts.
Dressy, pleated khaki shorts
(appropriate for Sunday morning church),
leprechaun-looking socks
(oh yeah...LOUD green),
and these loafers...
which he wore with anything, everywhere for weeks on end!

Mom: "Why don't you start wearing your sandals or flip flops, Sam?  The weather's warmer and those shoes are going to make your feet sweat." (Am thinking: sweat = stench.  And to be brutally honest: mySamuelson = jakey.)

mySamuelson: "Nah.  These are my favorite, Mom."

Mom: "You know, those look like old man shoes." (Am thinking: they really do.)

mySamuelson: "No they don't!" (smiling, with laughter lacing his words)

Mom: "Yes they do!" (Sometimes the allure to get in a "No it's not/ Yes it is" verbal spat with one's child is irresistible!)

mySamuelson: "Moooom!  They don't look like old man's shoes!" (Still smiling, but with a bit of consternation in his profile.)

Mom: "The next time we see an old man, look at his feet and I'll bet you'll see loafers that look like yours."

mySamuelson: "O.k.  But you're going to be wrong!"  (A tad unsure but excited nonetheless to be challenged.  A state-of-being he THRIVES in!)

* Must interject here that my primary care/ family physician is an Internist.  Thus, it should come as no surprise when I share that there are alot of elderly people in the waiting rooms.  A good number of the Doctor's in practice with mine specialize in one particular area: pulmonary, cardiology, etc.  Hence, the large number of aging patients.

Mom: "Sam!  Look!" (pointing at a 60-something man sitting in the lab waiting room we were walking by)

mySamuelson: "Oh my gosh, Mom!!!  That old man has shoes on just like mine!!!" (in disbelief with escalating excitement)
{Aside: They were carbon copies of Sam's!  Couldn't have planned it any better!}

*By this time, we had entered the lab and were looking for a place to sit.  mySamuelson's eyes were glued to those old man's feet the entire way.  Then...

mySamuelson: "Mom! Oh my gosh!  Mom! Mom!" (With unchecked eagerness: jumping up and down in front of me, pulling at my sleeve...with quick, stolen glances to his right.)

Mom: "What, Sam!?" (aggravated, of course)

mySamuelson: "Look, that man has old man shoes on too!" (a LOUD whisper)

Mom: "Yes, I know.  We already talked about it." (distracted with a roaming Punk)

mySamuelson: "No Mom.  Not that man.  That man!" (pointing at a 70-something man sitting to our right, a few chairs down)

Mom: (Throws a quick, placating glance to her right.  Breath catches in her throat that eventually comes out a guffawing hee-haw as she confirms mySamuelson's keen observation!)

mySamuelson: "Can you believe there are two old guys here with shoes on like mine, Mom?!" (grinning ear-to-ear) 
No, Mom can't!!!!
Guess they're more popular with the "elderly-man crowd" than I originally thought!

Unfortunately, these (along with about 25 other pairs of shoes) met their demise at the jaws of Dog-with-no-brain.
To quote Eustice on Courage the Cowardly Dog,
"Stupid dog!"

LOVE that cartoon!


  1. OH! My Gosh! I have shoes like these!!! I think I bought them when I was pregnant with Liz...They are sooooo comfortable!

    Looks like Sam and I have to go shopping!!!

  2. Hilarious!! I must admit..they do look comfy!

  3. Too funny! I've had moments like that - like when we got to church in a January snowstorm and realized one of my kids had shoes but no socks. I think the dog with no-brain might just come in handy! ;)


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